After moving to New York I have learned a few very important lessons that I wish I would have learned sooner. Having had the all is well that ends well ￼ mentality, I considered my struggles a win. Manhattan is most certainly an island, there is absolutely no place like it in the world. When I first got off the spaceship that drops you off on this alternate universe, I found myself yearning for a guidebook. After spending a few weeks aimlessly wandering the streets of Manhattan, I quickly learned that there are simply no dos, just a lot of big don’ts. These rules don’t apply to really anywhere else but this island and if you don’t oblige you can get yourself kicked off rather quickly. If you are moving to New York or just visiting, here are some things to not do.
1. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT, stop and stand on the left side of an escalator. If you do not want to jog/walk up while the escalator is in motion, stand to the right. The standers stand on the right, the movers run up the left. This is a big one as people in the city are always running late to the next thing on their calendar. Get out of their way or be flipped off.
2. If you’re wearing a backpack, carrying a big bag, standing in the way, or blocking the subway doors from closing in any way, shape, or form, you’re the worst type of human in the city. Do not block the subway doors. They are motion censored so if any part of you is in the way, the doors will not shut and 17 people will blame you for making them late to work.
3. Don’t make eye contact with me on the subway. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to buy whatever you’re selling. I don’t want to give you money. I don’t want to convert to Judaism. Every single one of us has AirPods in and are trying to avoid any type of human contact possible.
4. The same thing goes for the Manhattan meth-addicts. Do not encourage them please. React in this situation as you would if there were a mountain lion on this train. Just avoid eye contact if you’re too close, but if you’re far enough away, feel free to take videos quietly.
5. When you can’t find your way (notice how I say when and not if, I guarantee you will lose your way) step to the side. Do not stop dead in your tracks to check maps. Someone will either huff annoyingly as they step around you, or run into you. If you’re lost feel free to ask passerby’s. Everyone is generally willing to give direction unless in a rush.
So those are my top 5 donts! You can read up all you want about New York and how to survive the crazy, but I definitely think that it is just something you have to learn for yourself.